well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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