Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
