remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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