Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
