she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
