I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
