I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
