What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
