So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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