dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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