Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
