so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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