I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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