I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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