her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
