He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
