people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
