dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
