$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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