He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
