so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
