i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
