i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
