You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
