it was like his penis was on wheels.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
