you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
