Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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