she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
