I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
