i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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