I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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