Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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