More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
