I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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