Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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