I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
