he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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