it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You can't special order awesome
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
