So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
