I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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