I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
