yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
3 2 1 whiskey
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
