So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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