How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
