You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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