so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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