I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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