He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
