I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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