Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
