but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
